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My Man-Time May Be in Jeopardy

I have some serious concerns. A long-time standing and beloved tradition in our family is at risk. Let me explain.

With the family grown and the kids out of the home, we have discovered a wonderful way to create Couple-Timeout. Like those soda drinks, it is "Refreshing" for all. I like to make sure that my wife has her own space too. Here is how it works.

On a regular basis, one of my sons might call to schedule time to visit. Quite often they will come to visit with me over a three or four day weekend. This is when I go to Sweetie and suggest she enjoy a wonderful visit with her sister or another member of her family. She seems to appreciate my thoughtfulness. Concerned that she make the most of her visit, I help coordinate the arrivals and departures of Sweetie and whichever son is coming.

Upon the arrival of my son, our bonding time begins. With sushi from the store, steaks on the grill, and a few munchies that are not normally stocked in our kitchen pantry, we are ready to watch Movies-for-Men-Who-like-Movies. And with the movies being so "Action-packed", we can often go nonstop with one movie after the other.

Of course, some of the daily morning traditions seem to lose out: no shaving, no showers, and no need to make the bed. But even with paper plates, the sink still fills up with pots and pans. Double dipping in the salsa doesn't seem to bother either of us. But we do draw the line on drinking out of the milk carton. We all need some rules.

Of course the wife and I stay in constant contact with private messaging as we express sentiments of how much we miss one another and look forward to her return. The key here is to be sure she shares exactly when she will return home. I am so glad she honors this request. That usually allows us two to three hours before she arrives.

Much like a Code Blue at the hospital, I get a Code W that the wife is coming; we respond. That means, for the first time in 3 to 4 days we load the dishwasher. Countertops typically need to be cleared off and bottles returned to their shelves. The counter is given a good hard scrubbing. While my son takes out the two or three bags of garbage, I check the refrigerator for any dishes that we were supposed to have eaten that needs to be dispensed. We do make some effort to sweep the kitchen floor.

Then is the appropriate time to put on a clean T-shirt for a proper greeting of welcome home.

This pattern for our Couples-Timeout appears to be working. That is until recently. Upon her arrival home, Sweetie seemed especially chirpy and buoyant. I could not quite put my finger on it; I could sense a shift in our relationship. I quizzed her that first night and nothing seem to come to the surface. It wasn't until the next morning while she was making my breakfast that I began to understand what had happened. As she was measuring out my Scottish steel-cut oatmeal, she began to hum to herself. Again I quizzed her; what was going on? This was when her story all came pouring out.

While she was visiting family, two of them went to visit the health food store to buy oat bran for my favorite muffins with nuts and seeds and raisins. As they stood in the aisle, a gentleman came around the corner looking for steel cut oats. This was when Sweetie began to share how much I love my morning oatmeal. My constitution requires it each day. She explained how she would put 1/3 cup steel cut oats with 1 cup of water and then add a handful of raisins. Next she would simmer this for 10 minutes on low. At the seven minute mark she then added the chopped pecans. Once it had simmered, she turned the heat off and added cinnamon and allowed 10 more minutes for the oatmeal to absorb the spices. When I came for my breakfast, she would then pour my almond milk. Of course, I would sprinkle the brown sugar on myself.

When she finished her explanation for making my oatmeal, there was a long silence in the aisle. Finally, the good man spoke and asked, "Are you contemplating a divorce in the near future?" I am sure he was aware that Sweetie was married. After all, we had just purchased a bigger wedding ring so that others would know that she is "spoken for". But still, she took that as a proposal of marriage in the aisle of the health food store.

I don't know what he was thinking. And I don't know what she was thinking. But I do know what I am thinking. My Man-Time may be at risk. I may have to rethink this whole Couples-Timeout thingy. At the very least, I am trying to procure a promise that she will stay out of health food stores unless I am there.