Oh Ingrid – – we miss you already!

I first heard of Ingrid from her daughter Carol while visiting my sister in the Puget Sound area. The story that Carol shared of her moxie mother who had overcome so many challenges in her early life with polio were amazing. 

She had been an early patient of Dr. Bernard Jensen the father of Iridology and good eating. This set her on a road of a lifetime of natural foods for her family. Her love of gardening spilled over onto her daughter who raised a wonderful vegetable garden each year.

I didn’t get to meet Ingrid right away. Her husband Jim was bed ridden at the time with chronic illness for a few years. And Ingrid, the caregiver that she is, remained at his side to make his life easier. Ultimately, Jim passed on and Ingrid was released from her lifetime stewardship. She now turned her focus to helping Carol raise a great vegetable garden in the backyard.

Our first meeting was to be for Thanksgiving at my sister’s house. Everyone was helping make dinner and there were about six cooks in the kitchen. And like a butterfly going from flower to flower, Ingrid was there, helping everyone with their dishes and declaring herself the official Thanksgiving taster. I had never met anyone as happy and colorful in a room full of people.

The best part of all was that I loved to tease her and she loved to be teased. Magically, we hit it off from the moment we met. By the end, it was the two of us making turkey gravy for 12 people. As we worked over the stove, she shared a bit of her life story with me. I could see that I was in the presence of one who had overcome many great difficulties in her life. Being broken is no reason to see the world as broken.  And she was not broken but rather broken open and her heart directed her mind.

As she shared the sacrifices and challenges she had made the past couple of years for her dear husband Jim, I decided to pose one of those mysteries of the universe questions that some of us get hung up on. I wanted to know what is the cause of all our suffering. So I asked her, “Ingrid, you and Jim spent a lifetime eating as healthy as you could and were very active. Why do you think Jim came down with cancer?”

Her response amazed me. I could tell she had never even troubled herself with that question. She wasn’t even worried about the cause. She said, “Gosh I don’t know! Maybe it was stress! Maybe it was me!” And then she laughed as she shrugged if off and moved on to this moment in time. The lesson I got from Ingrid is to be careful about troubling ourselves with things that really are nonissues. What was important was the compassion she could give and share in these moments with those around her.

As Thanksgiving drew near this year, I wanted to enjoy another magical Thanksgiving. So we invited ourselves to my sister’s for Thanksgiving. Last year I had teased Ingrid because she wore a pair of ear rings that were parrots and she called them turkeys. I was able to find a real pair of Turkey earrings to give to Ingrid at Thanksgiving. But it was not to be!

The weeks leading up to Thanksgiving, Ingrid started reading all of her old love letters from Jim who had passed on two years previous. On Friday, six days before Thanksgiving, Ingrid read the final love letter from her late companion. The next day Ingrid had a heart attack. And on the day before Thanksgiving Ingrid passed on to be with Jim.

I was never able to give her the Turkey earrings or tease her while working in the kitchen again. But the lessons you taught me will remain.  Thank you Ingrid. You have been a wonderful teacher and friend.