I’m OK but You Suck!

Not long ago I was in a used book store looking through the self-help section when I ran across a title that had me laughing out loud.  It was, “I’m OK but You Suck!”.  I think it is a take off from the classic, I’m OK, Your OK.  For me, it speaks to that human weakness of righteous indignation.

Americans like to be righteously indignant.  I like to be righteously indignant.  We go to movies where we can be sympathetic with the hero that has been done wrong and is righteously indignant.  All the Rambo movies start with a guy that is quiet, soft spoken, minding his own business and is wronged.  And then heaven help the town that crosses him because he is coming back to wreck havoc, mayhem and retribution where ever he chooses. 

We have entire TV programs that “review” on-going court cases that point out the outrageous behavior of others and we can then go ballistic in a half dozen directions pointing the blame and holding others at fault in soooo many ways.

I have to be on notice to NOT become attached to such aversions in daily living.  It is easy to get sucked into other people’s misery.  And then I too am miserable.  My peace and happiness then eludes me.

I have been visiting an inmate in prison who is probably in for life.  Of course, there is plenty of drama drama in daily prison life where a pod may house a hundred or more men.  Yet he has found a way to rise above this misery.  When the perception of a wrong is seen or heard, he tells himself or the person he is talking to, “Not My Story.” 

We can have compassion for others travails without getting emotionally caught up.  It is called detached compassion.   This is crucial to be able to purify the mind and end our own suffering and quit spreading the misery to others. 

Now for my “True Confessions” story.  When the Geo Zimmerman/Trayvon Martin story broke, I was incensed.  I read everything I could, which fed my indignation.  I even wrote to the mayor and chief of police.  Looking back, I can see I was miserable and I shared my misery with the people around me.  This negative self feeding closed loop soon spilled into other parts of my life. 

I found I had to see this with greater kindness that soon allowed me to treat my own shortfalls with similar kindness.  I did myself no good thing in choosing to be righteously indignant.  I found I had to develop a balanced mind to make good choices in daily living.  And that meant letting go of judgment.

Bottom line:  I figured out that I am really OK because You really don’t SUCK.